Your co-worker stole your new idea at work and is now getting praise from your boss and even a promotion. Someone cut you in line at the grocery store in a rush to get home. Your aunt called ranting about what needs to change in your life and asked you once again, “When are you going to get married?” People. People. People. We have to deal with people everyday, and guess what? People are dealing with us too. How would you desire to be treated when you are the difficult one?

God reminds us in His Word to be loving towards others and treat others as we desire to be treated. (John 15:12 , Matthew 22:39) We see God showing that love to us through Jesus and also see Jesus showing it many times during His walk on Earth. We love to be treated gently and nicely. Who doesn’t? But, why is it so hard for us to show love towards others when they aren’t loving and gentle towards us?

I think there are a couple of reasons why:

• We react emotionally when we are offended.
• We take it personal when someone is unkind to us.
• We feel people should automatically know to be loving and respectful toward us.
• We don’t give grace as quickly as we desire to receive it.

But, reality is, everyone has their own struggles, thoughts and emotions going on constantly. I know it’s hard to believe this; but sometimes how people treat you and respond to you has nothing to do with you.

They may be frustrated about their spouse at home and can’t focus on anything outside of their issues. They may have cut you off in line because they are rushing to get home to a sick mother who needs constant care. They may be ranting to you because internally, they are frustrated and unhappy with themselves. They have their own issues stirring inside of them just as we do.

I read somewhere, “A person cannot give peace nor be peaceful if they are not at peace within themselves.”

So how can you remain loving and gentle towards others when they are not?

• Don’t take it personal. Instead, stop for a second and ask God, “Lord, what’s really going on with the person in front of me?” Wait for His response and allow Him to give you a new perspective and discernment on the person and the situation.
• Don’t respond immediately. Sometimes it’s good to allow a person to vent and simply respond in silence and/or a simple “Okay. I’ve heard you.” Give yourself time to process and pray about what they have discussed.
• When someone cuts you off and/or is rude in action, take a deep breath and say, “Lord, thank you that I am peaceful, loving and gentle and I forgive them for they know now what they do. I also pray that you bless them and calm their spirits as well as mine.”
• Treat others as you would like to be treated and put yourself in their shoes. Have you ever had a bad day and were rude to others? Have you ever ranted on someone in frustration? I’m sure you have. We have all been there. Be understanding as you would want others to be understanding of you. Be forgiving as you would want others to be forgiving towards you. (Ecclesiastes 7:21-22)
• Remember all the grace, love and forgiveness God has given to you and give it to others.
• Know that God loves you and sees the offenses that happen to us daily. He reminds us in His Word that offenses will indeed come but it is the wise one that allows them to brush over their shoulder. (Proverbs 19:11)

I know it’s hard. I know sometimes you want to retaliate. But, know that God sees you and He also sees them, and He still loves you both. Out of all things, God expects and wants us to love others. That’s what life is all about; even when it’s hard sometimes. You never know, that act of love you give, may change your perspective. You will no longer see them as a difficult person; but a child of God that simply needs to be loved. (Luke 6: 27-28)

Ephesians 4:2 “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each others’ faults because of your love.” 

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