The time has come upon us. The day singles dread the entire year. From December 26th – February 15th, Walmart quickly begins to remind us; Valentines Day is coming. On December 26th, it goes straight into transition for the love month. The red Santa candies are replaced with red wrapped chocolate hearts. The large Christmas trees are replaced with with large teddy bears. The Christmas cards are replaced with “I love you ” cards. It continues for a good two months until another season is on it’s way. Each red balloon. Each big teddy bear. Just a reminder for you that you are still……..single.

I remember the feeling all to well. After a couple of years of feeling down on this day, I started to adjust my thinking. Why? Because I started to realize how ridiculous it was that I was allowing a man made holiday put me in a depressive mood. One year, in 2012 to be exact, I told myself I would not allow a day to steal my joy. I decided to not only survive on Valentines day; but enjoy it.

Avoid Social Media

I remember I used to hope the day would go as fast as it came. Hoping I could get through the day not feeling envious of the Facebook posts of “Look what my honey got me!” or “Awww my husband is the best!” Or my favorite, “I said “Yes” and they flash their ring into the camera for all to see. I get it. It’s rough. This may be a good day to avoid social media. I know for some this can be hard, but if you know seeing others, experiencing your dreams, is going to put you in a damper mood; it’s okay to detach yourself. Focus on those around you. You will find yourself feeling a lot of love when you take your attention away from your phone and focus on those in your environment. Never know, may even notice that soon to be hubby ? But, let’s not get distracted here. Haha.

Change Your Perspective 

Each day is a day given by God. No matter where you are in life, you aren’t the only one waiting. While you are waiting on a mate. Someone else is waiting on a baby. While someone else is waiting to be healed. While someone else is waiting for a new job. We all are waiting. If we decide to pout and become disgruntled in the wait, we miss what God has already blessed us with as well as the intimacy with God in the journey.

If you place in your mind that this will be a depressive, upsetting day. That’s what you will have. But, if you decide in your mind that it’s going to be an amazing day; That’s what you will have. It’s all about your perspective.

Avoid Drastic Decisions for Attention

Ensure to not fall into the common trap of taking drastic measures so that you have someone on Valentines Day. Please don’t call that past partner that you know isn’t good for you. Please don’t try to force a date to happen on Valentines day so that you don’t feel left out. Most of all, please don’t get into the bed with someone to feel desired and wake up the next day wishing you would have kept your dignity. It’s not worth it.

Know that even those who have mates; are sometimes not together on Valentines Day. There are couples who spouses are deployed. Or some couples who live in different states and can’t be with each other today. One year, me and my husband at the time were in different states. I became pretty sick and was unable to fly, and he was unable to get to me either. Was I disappointed? Of course. But, it worked out for the best. I instead went out with some co-workers of mine for a movie and dinner. Glad I did, because my friends were single and we end up having a great time, and My husband and I were able to celebrate another time. As my husband always says, “There is always a tomorrow.” It’s one day ladies. One.

Choose Joy

I think what makes it difficult is because it doesn’t feel like “one” day to you. But, maybe it feels like “another” day of the reminder that you still have not met the love of your life. This day is just magnifying your unmet desires. I want to open your mind to something. If you go your entire life holding back enjoying life until you get the desires of your heart; you will never have joy. Disappointments come in marriage. Disappointments come in life. You truly have to learn to have joy no matter the season because so many things can be taken away at any moment of our lives. There is someone out there who wish they could hear. There is someone out there who wish they were cancer free. But, they have joy.

Remember Your First Valentine

Do you realize that you were someone’s Valentine before you even knew about them and still their number one Valentine everyday? There was someone who sacrificed all for you and showed you an expression of love that no man on earth could ever do (John 3:16). There is someone who sings over you and showers you with His love; daily (Zephaniah 3:17). Every hour. Every minute. Every second. He is continuously whispering to you; “I love you. I love you.” Whisper it back to Him and do the one thing that the love of your life desires you to do; show love to others. That same love that you embody from Christ give it to others today and even to yourself. End the day with your favorite movie and snack and enjoy just you.

Mark 12: 30-21 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

1 John 3:18 “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

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