“When You Think You Aren’t Beautiful Enough…”
Dating: When You Think You Aren’t Beautiful Enough, Worthy Enough, or Good Enough
Dating today can be rough. You see different people getting into relationships easily. You see your friends having multiple dating prospects. You feel you’ve been dating for years to no avail. You can begin to ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me?”
I think we all have been in this place and it can be pretty depressing. Where does it come from? Why do we feel this way? What can we do about it? I hope in this Convos with Chloe, I can help you see where these thoughts come from, why it’s dangerous, and how to change your perspective.
What You Will Learn:
- Ask God to help you see and love yourself the way He does. You should ask God to help you not to look for other people to accept you and instead for you to accept yourself on your own with Him.
- Call yourself beautiful, believe you’re worthy enough for a relationship, and you do deserve someone to pursue you and love you as God does. You have to accept who you are first before you can accept love and somebody seeing you that way. “If you already don’t accept who you are, you won’t ever be able to find it in the world.”
- Your past experiences where people always made you feel not beautiful, worthy, or good enough could be the reason why you feel that way. Try counseling or talk to someone to heal from your past, and accept who you are, and allow other people to accept you. “Talk to somebody about your past to heal from it to accept who you are, and allow other people to accept you as well.”
- Do not change who you think you are and what you feel you deserve by comparing yourself with other people. There’s someone out there who’s going to pursue you and respect your boundaries. “Do not take down what you believe you’re worth, comparing yourself to other people and what they’re saying other women have done.”
- Comparing who you are with other people. Speak over yourself what you feel that you desire as well as who God sees you. Understand that you have all that you need and when the time is right, God will bring someone in your life that treats you that way. You’re worth, your beauty, and the calling God has over your life doesn’t change just because the right person doesn’t show up in your life. “Don’t allow yourself to have thoughts about yourself as if you aren’t enough.”
The dangers of feeling not Beautiful Enough, Worthy Enough, or Good Enough:
- You’ll accept any type of treatment. You’re prone to accepting anything and any type of treatment when you’re desperate to have somebody. It is important that you believe you’re good enough and be patient in that, so you don’t put yourself in situations where you’ll accept just anything. “When you know what you want and what you desire and you know you’re worth it, it’s easier for you to move on to the opportunity of somebody better and different and more in line with what you want a lot quicker.”
- You miss God’s best for you. When you don’t feel you’re worthy or don’t deserve a certain type of man, you’ll end up with anybody and ignore the red flags and things that tell you this person isn’t good for you.
- You become co-dependent on the wrong person to validate you, which they can flip and use as power over you. People are not perfect and it’s unfair to put faith in a person to build you up because that’s God’s job. “Never ever put your validation in who you are and what you deserve in a person.”
How do you help yourself to say you’re Beautiful Enough, Worthy Enough, or Good Enough?
- Realize that it takes time. The way you’re feeling right now took you time to develop those thoughts, and it’s also going to take your time to get to a place where you love and accept yourself. “You’re going to have to be patient with yourself when it comes to changing your mindset about yourself.”
- You’re going to have to change your mindset about yourself. Look in the mirror and speak words of love over yourself or write on a piece of paper because your words have a lot of power. “Our words have a lot of power, that’s why I’m very conscious of the things I say to people and what I say to myself.”
- Ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you. Be very prayerful that He shows you your self-worth and to cover you, so Satan doesn’t get you to a situation where you become co-dependent.
- Write down what you know you desire, what you know you deserve, and what you know you’re worth. This will help you not deter from what you know you are and how you should be treated so you don’t settle.
Conclusion
How you see yourself translates to how God sees you, and the enemy doesn’t want you to see yourself that way because of the power it holds. Don’t allow the enemy to creep into your life making you think that you’re not who God called you to be. You’re worthy to be pursued, you’re worthy to be loved, you’re worthy to have everything that you have in your mind that you want in this life.
Visit www.chloemgooden.com for more resources.