Do you like wasting your time? I know I don’t. I especially didn’t like wasting my time, nor feelings, when it came to my dating life. I can think of so many guys I dated that I thought had the same intentions that I did, but soon found out; we wanted different things. I would be pretty frustrated because I put so much into them, having hopes we could have a future.
I’m sure the reason you are dating is to hopefully find a man who will love you, pursue you and one day make you his wife; right? But, what can you look out for to ensure you are giving time to a guy who is desiring a mature relationship? How can you know he isn’t merely “dating around” and wants something long-term with you? Consider this…
Are His Greetings “What’s Up” vs. “Good morning, How are you?”
I know this may seem trivial. But, I have witnessed this for myself with guys I have dated. When a man is mature, and genuinely wants to lead the relationship, it won’t be a simple “What’s up” greeting. He will ask “How are you?”…..”How is your day going?” He will ask about that meeting you discussed with him the day before. He will pay attention to your patterns of the day and get updates about them. If there is a simple “What’s Up,” he needs to put in more effort with you to have a real conversation and get to know who you are as a person. Mature men, rarely lead with “What’s Up.” Also, he won’t be bound to only texting you.
Does He Put In An Effort To Date You?
He will make an effort to call, take you out and spend time with you. It won’t just be a text message, quick calls discussing what you have on nor conversations that are centered around him. He will put in an effort to plan dates and not merely ask, “Can I come over?” There will be an effort. There will be planned dates. He will want to show you how special you are to him and give you treatment that shows you your worth the effort.
Does He Show His Feelings Around Others?
When guys are younger, they tend to feel the need to keep a specific image around their friends. They think it is showing a sign of weakness by expressing feelings towards you around them or showing you affection. A man will have no issue with showing his feelings for you around his friends. He is mature enough to not care about what his male counterparts think and is proud to show you affection whether in public or private. Why? Because he is more concerned about a future with you then his reputation with the guys.
Does He Avoid Serious Conversations?
When a guy is immature, he will not know how to handle serious conversations. Whether it’s about the relationship or just a simple dispute, he will try to avoid the “talk” and possibly even victimize himself in the matter. If he is a mature man, he will respect your feelings towards the situation and own up to his part. He will do whatever it takes to allow you to express your feelings so you won’t be left in anguish. A real man that cares about you won’t leave issues unresolved.
Does He Pay Attention To You?
A man understands the importance of paying attention to the details of your life. He will notice your favorite color. He will remember your birthday. He will remember your siblings’ names. Whatever you can think of; he will try his best to remember it. He understands that to pursue a woman he has to study her habits, needs, and desires. A boy will pay attention to himself and what he can get out of the relationship more than what he can put into it.
Does He Care About Your Needs?
It is in a man’s nature to want to provide and protect a woman. He wants to ensure her needs are met and her life is easier because of him. It is also in his nature to want to fix any a woman brings up to him. When you bring up a problem you have, does he do whatever he can to help you with it? Does he provide you with the things you need? A man will naturally protect what he loves and cares about, and that should include you. When a man sees or hears of any threat towards you, he will do whatever he can to make sure you feel safe and secure.
Does His Actions Line up With His Words?
Men are all about action. They will show you they love you before they actually say it. They will do something for you before they express words of affection. If a guy is always saying he loves you, doesn’t want you to leave him, misses you, but he never shows it; he isn’t serious about his intentions for you and not looking for a mature relationship.
These are just a couple of highlights to consider. If you want more dating tips, check out my book, Single to Married: Becoming Who You Are In Christ and a Better Complement as a Potential Wife.
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